Identity is shaped by a series of experiences. Life never tells us the plan, because if it did, we would probably avoid taking the longest route. We would be requesting the short journey to the destination that does not involve the unexplainable amount of bends, detours and roundabouts. When comparing flying to driving, one can overlook the reality that while flying offers the shortest route, driving can provide the greatest opportunities for self-actualisation, empowerment, and progress. This is because it involves rest breaks, speedbumps and speed limits. We recognise that much of the reward of growth is mired in feelings and circumstances we want to avoid. When you feel anxious, tearful or sad, it does not mean you are weak; it means you are real and what we all are – humans. By naming what you feel and acknowledging it to yourself, you change direction. You can start to work on what you wish to change or accept by setting boundaries, developing healthy coping strategies and eliminating cognitive distortions. We may not control the plan, but we control the mode of transport. Do you drive or fly? Do you confront or avoid? Do you allow yourself to not be ok, or do you push through and never face it? 

Not being okay is a moment, it is not the chapter 

The openness in allowing yourself to feel allows for greater empathy and can open up honest conversations with those that need to hear or those going through a similar experience. Giving yourself permission to feel, process, adapt or heal means the wound that is created may leave a scar, but it is one that no longer bleeds. Not all wounds disappear, and they do not need to; it is about how you learn to live with them.